It was fun to photograph Bk fashion week because they were creative and the place and people were in full of the cool underground atmosphere. And lots of fresh strawberry with sweet chocolates! If I hadn’t photographed this one, I wouldn’t have been interested in fashion photography. I will shoot a few fashion weeks in Brooklyn, Queens, and the city on Feb. But for NY fashion week….it seems lots more require to think how to get my own images since so many photographers are coming. Kinda challenge. To be honest I just want to enjoy being with people who work there photographing a back stage. Main stage is boring…(it never attracts me and am wonder why people get the same shoots)…Let’s see. I still have time to think. If Steve, Masato, Wanyu can come, it will be awesome. Love them all and they are different and good photographers.
I had a great time at my roomy’s opening at Space Womb last night. I met many interesting people and they made me realize that I want to photograph people and how to approach to identity issues I have been into. Most people there knew about Korean Japanese issue and the gallery also supports KJ arts organization. It was my first time to know about it since I came to New York. I thought I should research a lot and know more. What I want to do with my photography and writing skill and passion in my present and future life is not only to create my own arts but also to document Korean Japanese in their lost home. When I was in Korea, 19 years old, I was looking for any answers (really any kinds of answers could help me to get out of trauma and suffering from identity crisis) and clear evidence who I am, where I can belong to, and what actually makes me myself. Looking for the stuffs was my way of living when I was teen. And now, it’s getting change a little. I can see that I was waiting for someone or something could help me in my early age although I thought I was finding the way and working not rely on anybody. I wanted somebody who could understand and hold me, but of course it would have never happened. I couldn’t do anything actually. I couldn’t believe anything. I was in the small hand-made globe in darkness. I just escaped from what I really had to face on. I am still weak, but I found what I want to do and the way to answer myself. I think I was born to live with…poems, photography, arts, and documentary, it became clear since my mother changed my nationality form North to South, and was raised and grew up in Japan, and the fact I am in New York and all my path. They all connect and took me out to outside. And there were friends. Thanks for all!! Now I have the reason and the way and my icon. I love Eugene Smith and want to be a documentary photographer like him. His works are deeply into his subjects and the images show the truth and respect to people. Each image tells the story and once we see the image, it somehow approaches us not only as strong momentary impression. They are more than that…they are something living icon, both the moment and timeless, unchangeable messages. And he is the best Magnum photographer. He lived with people, and 247 photography. I gotta to work harder and never compromise. I can’t be scared of time because it always takes time to understand and close to somebody and something. At least I am not scared of anything to accomplish this dream.
It’s impossible to live without MOVING for anyone like no one can against time and the direction of wind. They are transparent chains which keep holding us. I never leave my past completely. Only time left it and only when rain wet the ground I am standing, slightly light on my path. What do I want now? I wanna leave everything for a while and just want to go somewhere. It is because I want to escape from the reality, and it is…because of my weakness.
Dazai’s Tsugaru: why do you go traveling? Because I am suffering. I still want to be forgiven someday like children could be, so I maybe acting like one of them. But it’s not only the reason. Absolutely not. I need vodka. Anyway I am going out with my camera.